无理取闹

No matter how angry I am..
I won't scold those rude words..
I admit..
I scold it inside my heart or scold it very softly..
I won't scold loudly in front or behind that people..

Again..
Fight with my mum...
She really 无理取闹..
Love to shout then shout..
Always say I didn't answer her when she is talking to me..
Every time I answer..
She didn't listen it..
She never use her heart talking with me..
She didn't respect me at all..
I think the one should kisiao is me!
But.. what I do?
I still keep quiet..
I don't want fight..
But she wanna start a fight with me..
I already use to it..

And every time..
If I am the one who right..
She will start panic or threaten..
Say wanna use violence to me..
And I never care it..

Every time I fight with family..
Surely will think back what happen n years ago..
Then..
Again I will put all those problems on myself..
I can't don't to think so..

Why every time I say siblings is most important in my life?
Why I never say FAMILY?
After siblings..
The 2nd important thing in my life is my friends..
Why not FAMILY again??
I never feel happy after the things that happen n years ago..
I can't find any happiness..
I know..
My temper not so good..
So.. I try to endure..
I try to control..
I try to keep silence..
I try to communicate with them..
But..
If I am the only one who change the attitude..
Will the problem solved??
NO!
And again..
I will put all the problems on myself after thinking those things...

Sometimes..
I really prefer 1 person at house..
I don't hope many people stay at my house..
I not really hope I have lots of family members..
If only have one family member but he or she will care you,understand you..
Isn't it great?
Got so many family members for what??
For me..
Those movies are lies!!
So many family members then can share the problems together??
Mum will always share your mind with you??
Yes!!
Those thing will just happen in my SWEET SWEET DREAM!

Family??
What does it means?
Father mother.. I love you??
For me..
This is an IRONY!

Actually..
Last time..
I hate my brother..
But..
He changes his attitude..
He become better and better..
I know he love me..
I love him too..
But we never say it out..

Actually
I love my dad too..
Although I am not stay with him..
But he more understand me..
He know what I really want..
He know if he continue fight with mum..
Me and my bro will be the saddest person and we will be very embarrassed..
But..
Mum..
Always think for herself and never think about us!

Last time..
I commit suicide before..
But now..
I won't..
Still got other people will care me right??




I don't want to talk it much.