无形 无心的伤害

Today.. I only know that I really hurt somebody so much.. /.\
Actually something happen on 5.2.2012 at Peter Foong's farewell..
When the time we take photo.. I said I wanna take photo with kahdong and wenhow.. I stand in front them then I forget why after that I go to their back and stand on the chair behind them..
That day.. I don't know why wh so initiative.. He call me put my head between he and kd.. I thought he just want like take photo together and look more close.. How know he say want like wanna kiss me.. I get shocked that time.. Wnnie is the photographer that time..
When he say that.. My mind just appears Wnnie.. I know she will unhappy.. She last time told me that she put down d.. But I know she haven't..
But that time I didn't reject.. cause I feel that kd mostly don't want ehh.. Cause really paisheh maa.. some times girls do that also will feel paisheh d.. And now is boy and girls @@..
kd keep laughing.. and we take many time.. cause every time take.. kd can't control himself and laugh.. This is normal response!! But wh like very serious aneh lehh @@

I hurt her :'(

When we take the photo.. I really feel that wh very close to me.. like wanna kiss me d..and kd I feel that still got some distance.. wh really really very near.. sueying also say that can see it through the photo..==
Today. I go to school and ask wnnie 'hey.. that day we take the photo like this you angry o?' At 1st she say nothing.. After I ask many times.. she say '有一点心痛咯,不用紧的啦!' with a smiley face..
When she say that.. I say many time sorry and I say 我不是故意的.. I damn hate mys!elf that time
I know sorry doesn't mean anything at all!! cause I seriously hate that too!! But why I do so?? I don't know what am I doing..
这就好像特地做错事,再说对不起...很虚伪咯!!! '对不起'这三个字只会让人更讨厌!!!
我知道..但为什么我还这么做???她是没怎样,但自己深知她是很不好受的 :'(
I rather she hate me.. Cause I can't forgive myself doing that..


Last night.. she shared a link in facebook.. When a girl share the song.. means she really love that song much or the song means something to her or the lyrics of the song is what she think and feel right now..
不甘心不放手.. </3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XguUGPurn30&feature=related
when I listen to it.. I feel that I really hurt her deeply..


Actually.. I really didn't have any feel to him at all.. I really just treat him as my brother.. But I don't know what he think laa.. I hope that is NOTHING.

我觉得自己真的很丑陋 真的很可恶